Introducing the House Party of Canada

Survival is a foregone conclusion. Now what?

Things ain't half bad up here in Canada. These days you have a chance at convincing a middle class person to take their dog to a dog chiropractor. That's prosperity. By almost any economic measure, our quality of life is better than ever. We live in one of the safest societies in the history of the Earth. The last foreign attack was in 1812. Crime has steadily declined for a quarter century.

We have much to be proud of. 8% of Canadians say they've made love in a canoe and we are looked to as a model of harmonious multiculturalism.

When survival is a foregone conclusion it is natural to guard against mind-numbing boredom. One option is for government to invent fake problems and bicker about slight differences. Another is for government to embrace the Canadian reputation of generosity, friendliness and general anti-hustle backwoods charm.

It could be the time for a government with zany creativity. A curious government interested in discovering a next level that's actually worth discovering. A government of policy craftspeople, seeking elegant simplicity in legislation, like inspired inventors. Policies that make you think “Hey, isn't that just a real neat idea,” like we might if someone explained how soap works.

Government needs more than just the sober second thought of the Senate; it should have a drunken first thought too. Maybe it's time for a government with a soul, that's humble and ready to serve. A loving government. A lovable government.

Quite frankly, we don't really care if it sounds like we have a mouthful of granola over here right now. We have the freedom of not caring because we will never hold office (especially if they keep holding election campaigns during lake season). Thus we'll never have the chore of trying to stay in office either. Our entire focus is to be curious and adventurous enough to provide entertainment and enjoyment to you.

The House Party of Canada isn't left or right. Sometimes we feel like an island of hippies on the far Libertarian right, interested in environmentalism well beyond the casual recycler's comfort level while simultaneously despising authority and bloated government. Other times, when we're out shooting guns in the woods, it crosses our minds that it's pretty great that poor people get free health care.

It's fun to pretend to have all the answers, and we are interested in fun, but it's easier to make progress when we aren't busy pretending we already know everything.

There is one thing we're pretty sure of though: We are destined to be the intellectual embryos of our descendants. So, no matter what we believe, if we find ourselves so convicted that we can no longer enjoy a game of bean bag toss with those of different political stripes, there's something wrong. Folks, we intend to play a lot of bean bag toss.

And we intend to play to win.


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